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CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS

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CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS

Post by Stoney on Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:38 am

.Subject: FW: CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church
ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church
bulletins or were announced in church services:


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon
tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
--------------------------

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
--------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow..
--------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered..
--------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
--------------------------

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use
the back door.
--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.
--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------


The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.



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Stoney

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Join date : 2012-08-02
Age : 65
Location : Biggin Hill

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Re: CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS

Post by Bob on Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:02 am

Love it Stoney !!
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Bob

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Age : 73
Location : London

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